Who cares?
Surviving and thriving when your partner has younger onset dementia
A natural carer
By the age of 22, Ailsa had fulfilled her childhood dream of qualifying as a nurse. She then spent her career helping others, working in health services and the charity sector.
“Life was good in my 40s.” Ailsa said “I had a happy marriage, a fulfilling job and a comfortable lifestyle in sunny Western Australia. My main challenge was supporting our teenage adopted daughter as she tried to make sense of her life.”
Suddenly, Ailsa’s life was turned upside down. Her husband was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease and he was encouraged to stop working.
“We moved back to the UK to be near to our family. I worked full-time in the NHS and adapted to my life as a carer.”
Ailsa even volunteered within her local community and helped her husband fulfil his bucket list by travelling around Europe.
“People said I made it look easy. However, within three years I was completely burnt out.”
Time to care for myself
Experiencing a crisis of complete emotional and physical exhaustion made Ailsa realise that she had always put everyone else first. It was at the expense of her own well-being. Something needed to change.
Ailsa knew that she was strong and capable but she needed to stop trying to be a superhero. It wasn’t sustainable.
Dementia affects all aspects of a person’s life. It doesn’t just affect the person with the illness. It affects the whole family.
“When your partner is diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s Disease, your plans for the future change, your relationship changes, and your family changes.”
The progressive nature of dementia means that caring can be physically and emotionally exhausting. For many, like Ailsa, caring for a partner with dementia results in a loss of well-being.
A life-changing story
By making self-care a priority, Ailsa was better equipped to handle the practical challenges of caring. She also had clarity about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. How she could make her heart sing.
In her groundbreaking new book, Who Cares? Surviving and thriving when your partner has younger onset dementia, Ailsa shares the story of finding purpose and joy in life while supporting a partner on their dementia journey.
My mission
Any caring journey should begin and end with self-care but it is easy to forget this when juggling so many new responsibilities.
As the number of unpaid dementia carers continues to rise, I have shared my story to empower others to shift from just surviving to completely thriving.
It is possible to have positive and rewarding experiences while caring for your loved one.
It is time to change the world, one carer at a time.1
- “There are approximately 800,000 people in Scotland providing such unpaid care. It would cost an estimated £13.1 billion every year to replace the care they provide.” Carers Scotland, January 2024 https://www.carersuk.org/press-releases/nearly-half-of-working-age-carers-lose-12-000-of-income-per-year-because-they-provide-care/
Caring for yourself is crucial when you have caring responsibilities. It’s easy to become exhausted and burnt out. Prioritise self-care to be stronger and more resilient for yourself and your loved ones.
Background
It was only when Ailsa experienced physical and emotional burnout that she learned she needed to prioritise her own well-being to care for her loved ones. Ailsa’s profound journey of self-acceptance and care has inspired her to help transform the lives of other dementia carers.
Experience
Ailsa is the founder of The Singing Lotus, a well-being service for reiki, crystal healing and sound therapies. As a well-being practitioner with a background in nursing, project management, and improvement science, Ailsa is passionate about empowering people to transform their lives.
A member of Alzheimer Scotland’s National Dementia Carers Action Network (NDCAN), Ailsa campaigns and raises awareness on the issues affecting carers of people with dementia.
Leadership
As the founder of The Singing Lotus, Ailsa has helped develop workshops and programs that have transformed the lives of men and women caring for people with dementia, and altered the perception of the carers journey.
Topics
Ailsa’s story of transforming her life is the inspiration behind her influential programmes.
Ailsa enjoys empowering others to prioritise their well-being on all levels (physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual) so they can thrive while caring for their loved ones.